 |
| For me, it's finding the balance. |
What if someone told you that you had to eat the same meal every morning for breakfast, lunch and dinner, every day... for the rest of your life. You could prepare the meals differently, but the items had to remain the same. No variation. If you chose bacon and eggs for breakfast, eventually would you start looking longingly at someone else's pancakes? Wouldn't you start thinking.... maybe just a taste? Wouldn't you want to change it up every now and then, even if the menu was seemingly perfect for you? Wouldn't you get.... bored?
 |
Fact: Infidelity does not necessarily mean an unhappy relationship. |
That's monogamy.
Now, I'm not discounting the appeal to monogamy. I'm really not. I personally enjoy long stretches of it. There are all sorts of things to take into consideration. Religious beliefs, morals and values, the quality/healthiness of the monogamous relationship, jealousy, children, culture/society, sexual health/STI's and how big of a prude you are (haha, I jest) just to name a few.
But it's not for everyone and that's okay. Just because you aren't monogamous, doesn't mean you are a godless slut or that you can never have a successful LTR. It means that your sexual/mental/emotional/physical needs differ from those who thrive on one interpersonal connection. Being flexible in a relationship can open up many opportunities and there can be endless possibilities to the level of monogamy or non-monogamy within a relationship. Maybe there is a legitimate side girlfriend, maybe you hook up with the mailman once a week, maybe you leave the option open during certain occasions -- vacation for example. The best thing about your body and your relationships are they they are your choices! If you want to have pancakes one Saturday a month and your partner agrees, there is nothing wrong with that. No one is asking you to eat the pancakes, just don't judge me if I do.
mo·nog·a·my
məˈnäɡəmē/
noun
- the practice or state of being married to one person at a time.
- the practice or state of having a sexual relationship with only one partner;
- the habit of having only one mate at a time.
 |
| 35-55% of people who 'cheat' report being happy in their marriage. |
For animals such as swans, gibbon apes, termites, barn owls and beavers -- VERY COMMON! These animals mate for life. But really there are ~7.77 million species of animals, so.... *shrug* not sure if those sweet little swans are convincing me. But anyway.. what about humans? Less than 20% of the world's cultures require monogamy. Monogamy is beginning to lose some of it's favor in western cultures as well. People are starting to participate more in social monogamy in places such as the United States where monogamy is encouraged as the norm. So what is social monogamy? Basically it is a more PC label for open marriage. A couple is publicly, financially, emotionally (whatever) together but they have the option of seeking sexual gratification outside of the marital boundaries.
There are endless passionate, amazing successful monogamous relationships... but there are endless passionate, amazing, successful socially monogamous relationships (and poly-amorous and polyandrous and polygamous (etc.) relationships too). If you're happy with your cereal in the mornings, ENJOY! But don't give me the side eye when I dabble in a short stack.
xoxxx,
 |
| Julia is a sex enthusiast (talking about it, studying it, taking part in it!) with a B.A. in Cultural Anthropology focusing on sex work and sexual taboos. She is currently working on a Master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy centering on sex and relationships. She is a strong advocate for sexual freedom and equality |
